{"id":36,"date":"2015-01-20T14:33:38","date_gmt":"2015-01-20T14:33:38","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/firstlighthomecare.com\/home-healthcare-salem\/blog\/?p=36"},"modified":"2026-02-02T15:02:46","modified_gmt":"2026-02-02T15:02:46","slug":"when-it-comes-to-caregiving-dont-be-a-superhero","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.firstlighthomecare.com\/home-healthcare-salem\/2015\/01\/20\/when-it-comes-to-caregiving-dont-be-a-superhero\/","title":{"rendered":"When it Comes to Caregiving, Don’t be a Superhero"},"content":{"rendered":"
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How much work could this little guy possibly be?<\/p><\/div>\n

When my first son was born, I started every day of his first week with a lengthy to-do list: Shower, laundry, make dinner, write 4 thank you notes, call a friend, exercise, make sure my husband gets a good night\u2019s sleep.<\/p>\n

Leading up to Will\u2019s birth, I\u2019d frozen meals, finished my Christmas shopping (he was born in September), and bought six-months\u2019 worth of birthday cards. I was determined to be Supermom. People told me I wouldn\u2019t be able to keep it up, but, I thought, \u201cYou surely don\u2019t know me very well if you think I\u2019m going to let a little baby throw off my routine.\u201d You can probably imagine how this ended\u2014with tears and more than a few expletives.<\/p>\n

I always think of this time when I \u2018m talking to family caregivers\u2014husbands and wives, sons and daughters, sisters and brothers, many of whom who say they can single-handedly care for their aging loved one.<\/p>\n

Often times, they\u2019ve been thrust into the role of caregiver without the nine months of warning I had for my first kid. A dad falls and breaks a hip, does a short stint in rehab, and within a matter of weeks, he\u2019s back home needing almost round-the-clock care. A wife gets an Alzheimer\u2019s diagnosis, a sister has a stroke, and so the family caregiver bravely sets out, juggling the needs of her own household, her job, and a million other stressors, with the care of her loved one. She\u2019ll look at me with determined eyes, set jaw, and I know what she\u2019s thinking, \u201cYou don\u2019t me very well if you think I\u2019m going to trust the care of my loved one with a stranger.\u201d<\/p>\n

I read a statistic recently that said a caregiving spouse between the ages of 66 and 96 who is experiencing mental or physical stress has a 63 percent higher risk of dying than people the same age who are not caregivers. Family caregivers tend to sleep less, eat worse, exercise less, take fewer days off for themselves, and postpone their own medical appointments more than people who aren\u2019t caring for someone. They\u2019re also more prone to depression and drug or alcohol abuse.<\/p>\n

The main point here? YOU CAN\u2019T BE A GOOD CAREGIVER FOR SOMEONE ELSE UNLESS YOU CARE FOR YOURSELF.<\/p>\n

If you are the sole caregiver for a loved one, it\u2019s essential you take time to care for your own needs. Assess yourself on a regular basis to ensure you\u2019re not overwhelmed. Are you having trouble sleeping? Are you more irritable than usual? Are you forgetting things? All of these can be signs of caregiver stress.<\/p>\n

Next, take stock of your situation to determine what stresses you out the most. Is it feeling like no one else is there to help? Are there family disagreements? Do you just have too much to do? Acknowledge what you can\u2019t change (e.g., you can\u2019t likely change the behavior of someone else) and what you can (you can get help with certain aspects of care\u2014like bathing or meal preparation or transporting to appointments).<\/p>\n

Once you\u2019ve identified your biggest stressors, take action to care for yourself and reduce some of that stress. Take a walk\u2014even if it\u2019s while your loved one is at a physical therapy appointment or getting dialysis. Arrange for someone to come over and be with your loved one just for a few hours so you can go out to dinner with friends. Enlist the help of professional caregivers for a small task every day\u2014showering your loved one or getting them ready for bed at night. Even if you\u2019re determined to do the bulk of the care yourself, pick the area that stresses you out the most and get help for only that.<\/p>\n

If you don\u2019t feel you need help right now, still seek support. There are a number of caregiver support groups in the area (Greater Lynn Senior Services hosts one in Lynn every week) that will not only give you a chance to talk with other caregivers but will also give you ideas and information for better ways you can care for your loved one.<\/p>\n

Lastly, as you consider your role as caregiver, always keep this in mind: You are not letting your loved one down if you ask for help, but you could be letting them down if you don\u2019t.<\/p>\n

Originally published in The Swampscott Reporter<\/a><\/em><\/p>\n

Molly Rowe owns FirstLight Home Care with her husband, Steve, and lives in Swampscott with their two sons. FirstLight provides non-medical in-home care to adults in Swampscott, Marblehead, Lynn, Salem, Peabody, Danvers, Beverly, and Lynnfield. For more information and help caring for your loved ones in the comfort of their own homes, please visit FirstLight\u2019s website at <\/em>www.salem.firstlighthomecare.com<\/em><\/a> or contact Molly at <\/em>781-691-5755\/mrowe@firstlighthomecare.com<\/em><\/a><\/p>\n

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When my first son was born, I started every day of his first week with a lengthy to-do list: Shower, laundry, make dinner, write 4 thank you notes, call a friend, exercise, make sure my husband gets a good night\u2019s sleep. Leading up to Will\u2019s birth, I\u2019d frozen meals, finished…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":37,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-36","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"acf":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.firstlighthomecare.com\/home-healthcare-salem\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/36","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.firstlighthomecare.com\/home-healthcare-salem\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.firstlighthomecare.com\/home-healthcare-salem\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.firstlighthomecare.com\/home-healthcare-salem\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.firstlighthomecare.com\/home-healthcare-salem\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=36"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.firstlighthomecare.com\/home-healthcare-salem\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/36\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.firstlighthomecare.com\/home-healthcare-salem\/wp-json\/"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.firstlighthomecare.com\/home-healthcare-salem\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=36"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.firstlighthomecare.com\/home-healthcare-salem\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=36"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.firstlighthomecare.com\/home-healthcare-salem\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=36"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}