{"id":644,"date":"2015-05-13T15:22:58","date_gmt":"2015-05-13T15:22:58","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/firstlighthomecare.com\/home-healthcare-salem\/blog\/?p=92"},"modified":"2026-02-02T15:02:41","modified_gmt":"2026-02-02T15:02:41","slug":"caring-for-a-loved-one-you-are-not-alone","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.firstlighthomecare.com\/home-healthcare-salem\/2015\/05\/13\/caring-for-a-loved-one-you-are-not-alone\/","title":{"rendered":"Caring for a Loved One: You are not alone"},"content":{"rendered":"
\"jimmyfriendship\"

Sometimes, it helps just to know we’re not alone. <\/em><\/p><\/div>\n

I admit that one of the driving motivations behind starting this column (and one of the reasons we launched our home care business) was guilt\u2014guilt over not always making the right decision or feeling the right way or saying the right things as we dealt with aging and illness in our own family.<\/p>\n

When I started writing this blog, I hoped I\u2019d be able to provide some tips for people dealing with some of the issues we dealt with and perhaps help them initiate conversations that we ourselves shied away from. What I didn\u2019t realize was how many people just need to hear they\u2019re not alone in their guilt, frustration, sadness, embarrassment\u2014whatever it is they\u2019re feeling\u2014as they try to cope in their own families. So, let me officially put it on record: You most assuredly are not alone.<\/p>\n

You\u2019re not alone when you call the police and ask them to do a wellness check because Mom hasn\u2019t answered your calls all day. You\u2019re not alone when you notice your loved one\u2014who always took pride in his appearance\u2014has stopped showering regularly or washing his clothes. You\u2019re not alone when you answer the same question from your mom over and over again, or when your wife forgets your name.<\/p>\n

You\u2019re not alone when you grow frustrated with your loved one\u2019s resistance to kick bad habits even though it would greatly improve his health. You\u2019re not alone when you sheepishly tell a home care agency that your mom, who\u2019s never been racist, won\u2019t accept caregivers who aren\u2019t the same color as her. You\u2019re not alone when you argue with your sibling and wonder how two people with the same parents could have such different views on caring.<\/p>\n

You\u2019re not alone when you have to help your mom take a shower or go to the bathroom for the first time and you think, \u201cI\u2019m her son\u2014I never thought I\u2019d be doing this.\u201d You\u2019re not alone when you call your dad 15 times a day to see if he\u2019s taken his medication, gone to the bathroom, eaten lunch, checked his insulin, turned off the stove, drunk enough water, and remembered not to put tin foil in the microwave.<\/p>\n

You\u2019re not alone when you feel overwhelmed with the task of caregiving\u2014and then guilty for feeling overwhelmed. You\u2019re not alone when you miss the way things used to be. You\u2019re not alone when you feel angry and frustrated and sad and hopeless.<\/p>\n

Almost every single person we run into every day has a story of aging or illness and how it has affected their lives. And as unique as we all feel our situations are, everyone has a situation. It\u2019s tempting to keep things to ourselves because we want to respect the privacy and dignity of our loved ones (or because we are in denial that we need help), but when you keep things to yourself, you miss out on critical information that could help you and your loved one get better care. You miss out on the opportunity to enjoy the aging and caregiving process (yes, it\u2019s possible to enjoy it!). You miss out on a chance to laugh instead of cry. You are definitely not the first person to go through this, but to know that, you have to talk about it.<\/p>\n

Molly Rowe owns FirstLight Home Care with her husband, Steve Rowe, and lives in Swampscott with their two sons. FirstLight provides non-medical in-home care to adults in Swampscott, Marblehead, Nahant, Lynn, Salem, Peabody, Danvers, Beverly, and Lynnfield. For more information and help caring for your loved ones in the comfort of their own homes, please visit FirstLight\u2019s website at <\/em>www.salem.firstlighthomecare.com<\/em><\/a> or contact Molly at <\/em>781-691-5755\/mrowe@firstlighthomecare.com<\/em><\/a><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I admit that one of the driving motivations behind starting this column (and one of the reasons we launched our home care business) was guilt\u2014guilt over not always making the right decision or feeling the right way or saying the right things as we dealt with aging and illness in…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":492,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-644","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"acf":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.firstlighthomecare.com\/home-healthcare-salem\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/644","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.firstlighthomecare.com\/home-healthcare-salem\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.firstlighthomecare.com\/home-healthcare-salem\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.firstlighthomecare.com\/home-healthcare-salem\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.firstlighthomecare.com\/home-healthcare-salem\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=644"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.firstlighthomecare.com\/home-healthcare-salem\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/644\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.firstlighthomecare.com\/home-healthcare-salem\/wp-json\/"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.firstlighthomecare.com\/home-healthcare-salem\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=644"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.firstlighthomecare.com\/home-healthcare-salem\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=644"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.firstlighthomecare.com\/home-healthcare-salem\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=644"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}