{"id":658,"date":"2015-10-12T20:17:13","date_gmt":"2015-10-12T20:17:13","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.firstlighthomecare.com\/home-healthcare-salem\/?p=532"},"modified":"2026-02-02T15:02:36","modified_gmt":"2026-02-02T15:02:36","slug":"dealing-with-depression-in-aging-loved-ones","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.firstlighthomecare.com\/home-healthcare-salem\/2015\/10\/12\/dealing-with-depression-in-aging-loved-ones\/","title":{"rendered":"Dealing With Depression in Aging Loved Ones"},"content":{"rendered":"
\"Grandpa's

One of Grandpa’s greatest joys was watching his grandsons in the pool.<\/em><\/p><\/div>\n

Memories are a funny thing: You can have a million great ones with a loved one and only one bad\u2014how they looked the last time you saw them alive, an argument, or a bad day\u2014and it\u2019s that last bad memory you can\u2019t shake. For me, my last Christmas with my father-in-law is that memory.<\/p>\n

We all arrived in Florida, excited for a week by Grandpa\u2019s pool, even though the temperatures outside were below normal. Our pool plans were cancelled, however, when we discovered the pool heater wasn\u2019t working. Such a small thing, and we could have easily overcome it, but my father-in-law couldn\u2019t.<\/p>\n

And so the week took a different turn. Dad didn\u2019t participate. He spent hours playing solitaire on his computer instead of hanging out with us. He skipped family dinners and appeared to find no joy in Christmas morning.<\/p>\n

This wasn\u2019t the first time we noticed signs of depression in Dad, even though this time they were more pronounced. Over the years and through multiple ailments, we\u2019d noticed he was quieter, less interested, and we\u2019d debate whether or not he was depressed. \u201cHe\u2019s stopped doing all the things he once enjoyed\/Maybe he\u2019s just not interested anymore.\u201d \u201cHe withdraws from us\/Maybe he just needs alone time.\u201d He seems more irritable\/Maybe that\u2019s just part of aging.<\/p>\n

Our family debate wasn\u2019t unique. Almost every family has the \u201cMaybe he\u2019s depressed\u201d discussion related to changes in their loved one at some point, but the problem with depression in seniors is the symptoms can be confused with the symptoms of other age-related ailments: loss of appetite, unexplained weight loss, insomnia, fatigue. This is why we as families are usually stuck speculating about depression but do nothing about it.<\/p>\n

It\u2019s estimated six million people over age 65 suffer from depression, and the suicide rate in people ages 80 to 84 is more than twice that of the general population. In 70 percent of cases, depression in seniors is caused by environmental factors\u2014loneliness, failing health, the sale of a family home, or something smaller but significant, like the loss of a driver\u2019s license. Depression is dangerous in multiple ways because it can affect an aging loved one\u2019s ability to recover from illness and increase his risk of death.It may be difficult to get Mom or Dad to admit they\u2019re depressed or to seek treatment through medication or psychotherapy, but sometimes depression can be alleviated with changes in the environment or a new purpose in life\u2014a pet, a daily coffee outing with a friend, volunteering, anything that breaks the habit of isolation.<\/p>\n

The one thing that won\u2019t<\/em> cure depression is telling someone she has no reason to be depressed: \u201cYou\u2019re still healthy.\u201d \u201cYou\u2019ve got all your family nearby.\u201d \u201cYou live in a beautiful place where meals are provided for you.\u201d No matter the many reasons a person should be<\/em> happy, she might not be. So rather than try to reassure Mom she has no reason to be depressed, help her to find a way not to be\u2014talk about lifestyle or living changes that might make a difference, increase your visits, get her out of the house, talk to her doctor. Depression, like bad memories, won\u2019t magically go away, but talking about it with a loved one can at least start the process of treating it.<\/p>\n

Molly Rowe owns FirstLight Home Care with her husband, Steve Rowe, and lives in Swampscott with their two sons. FirstLight provides non-medical in-home care to adults in Swampscott, Marblehead, Nahant, Lynn, Salem, Peabody, Danvers, Beverly, and Lynnfield. For more information and help caring for your loved ones in the comfort of their own homes, please visit FirstLight\u2019s website at <\/em>www.salem.firstlighthomecare.com<\/em><\/a> or contact Molly at <\/em>781-691-5755\/mrowe@firstlighthomecare.com<\/em><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Memories are a funny thing: You can have a million great ones with a loved one and only one bad\u2014how they looked the last time you saw them alive, an argument, or a bad day\u2014and it\u2019s that last bad memory you can\u2019t shake. For me, my last Christmas with my…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":533,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[14],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-658","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-caring-for-aging-parents"],"acf":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.firstlighthomecare.com\/home-healthcare-salem\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/658","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.firstlighthomecare.com\/home-healthcare-salem\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.firstlighthomecare.com\/home-healthcare-salem\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.firstlighthomecare.com\/home-healthcare-salem\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.firstlighthomecare.com\/home-healthcare-salem\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=658"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.firstlighthomecare.com\/home-healthcare-salem\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/658\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.firstlighthomecare.com\/home-healthcare-salem\/wp-json\/"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.firstlighthomecare.com\/home-healthcare-salem\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=658"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.firstlighthomecare.com\/home-healthcare-salem\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=658"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.firstlighthomecare.com\/home-healthcare-salem\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=658"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}