Most people know that the seniors in their lives will eventually need care of some kind, but far fewer know when eventually becomes now. It’s a tricky question because there’s no single right or wrong answer—it’s all about what’s best for everyone involved. The right time to start with professional home care is, quite simply, when you and your friend or family member need it.
Luckily, home care isn’t all or nothing. Home care is designed to slot into your friend or family member’s life and support them in the areas they need it most. You can start with occasional care to provide help with tasks around the house or just provide companionship, then change the care plan as needs change.
So: Do you need home care now? If you’re reading this article, you probably suspect the answer is “yes.” But if you’re not certain, here are some things to look at and questions to ask that might help you make a confident decision.
The Top Signs That It’s Time for Home Care
Unlike many types of healthcare, home care typically isn’t ordered by a doctor. It’s self-ordered, meaning you and your friend or family member decide when if and when to start home care. While it’s ultimately up to you to decide on the right timing, there are a number of key signs to look out for.
They’re Having Trouble with Meals
One of the most early signs that an older adult might need help is that they’re having trouble feeding themselves. From finding a recipe to grocery shopping to cooking and eating, then staying on top of expiration dates, managing meals takes a lot of energy at any age. Older adults face additional barriers in the form of reduced energy, coordination and hunger cues, among others.
As common as it is for seniors to have trouble eating enough, it’s also one of the most important struggles to address. When older adults don’t get enough nutritious food, it can cause many other forms of decline to accelerate. If a senior in your life needs help with any step in the process of feeding themselves, they need help, period.
Seniors aren’t often keen to share when they’re struggling, but one decent way to check for yourself is to take a peek at the fridge and pantry. Bare shelves or spoiled food are a sure sign that something is wrong.
Their Driving Habits Have Changed
Next time you visit, take a car ride with them and be aware of their driving. In most parts of the country, including here in Charlotte, being able to drive safely or get a reliable ride is key to participation in life outside the home. Here’s what to look out for:
- Is their driving smooth and sure, or do they lurch and bounce a lot?
- Are they having trouble seeing other cars or hearing horns and sirens?
- Are they notably more or less cautious than you remember?
- Are they driving differently, like avoiding making left turns?
- Can they reliably navigate to familiar destinations?
- Do they seem more anxious or irritable behind the wheel than they used to?
Struggling with driving can make it a lot harder for seniors to stay engaged in the activities that make life meaningful and enjoyable, so just finding reliable transportation help can make a world of difference. However, it’s also a common source of shame, so they may be unlikely to bring it up themselves.
Their Routines Have Changed
When older adults are struggling, they often struggle to keep up with their old routines. They might do them less frequently (or not at all), and they might not complete them effectively if they do. Here are a few examples:
- They’re missing appointments—especially regular ones like doctor’s appointments, therapy, haircuts or workout classes. Maybe they’re forgetting or double-booking themselves; maybe they just don’t have the energy to show up.
- They don’t hit the grocery store as often as they once did, or they’re not bringing in everything they’ve purchased.
- They’re late much more often than they used to be.
Notable changes are the most important thing to look out for here, especially if they’re consistent. If they’ve always been 15 minutes late to most things, being 20 minutes late once or twice isn’t a cause for worry.
While you’re at it, it’s also worth looking for anything that seems different around the house. For an idea of what to look for, we go more in depth in this blog.
Listen To Their Friends and Neighbors
Older adults aren’t always comfortable discussing when they’re struggling—and they may be unaware of slow changes—so it’s often helpful to get some outside perspective to see how your friend or family member is doing. Next time they’re heading to a community event, religious service or other social occasion, tag along and listen to what others say.
Their friends may bring up areas they need help with that they’re not open to discussing directly. Communities take note when their senior members stop attending regularly, if they’re having trouble getting around or if they suddenly become wallflowers. In addition, most religious institutions in Charlotte have senior care ministries or some equivalent. With their help, you can usually get some insight.
Your friend or family member’s neighbors can be another good source of outside perspective on their life. Their neighbors often see if they’re struggling to handle the trash, if they’re unable to clear obstructed walkways, whether their parking habits have changed, and if they’re leaving the house on a regular basis. It’s worth a quick chat to see.
(By the way, the city of Charlotte doesn’t require elderly or disabled residents to take their trash all the way to the curb. If you need help accessing this service, let us know—we’d be happy to point you in the right direction.)
Ask Yourself Some Questions
The question of whether it’s time to start home care is as much about your needs as it is about theirs. Many families choose to care for family members personally—in fact, we’ve done so ourselves—but it doesn’t work for everybody. You need to know if it would work for you, as well as for their needs.
Wondering if you’ll be able to care for your friend or family member personally? Ask yourself these questions:
- Do you have the time, energy and patience to handle the caregiving tasks they need?
- Are you currently missing out on other important life events to care for them? How will you balance your own needs and theirs?
- Can you handle the ongoing physical demands of caregiving?
- How will caring for them impact your relationship with them, and with other members of your family?
- Would you be comfortable performing caregiving duties like helping them with hygiene? How would they feel?
- What matters most to you and to them?
- Will you still be able to spend time with them as a family member? This is often the most difficult line to walk for family caregivers.
Take time to think about your answers to these questions, particularly the last one. Especially during the holidays, it’s important to make sure that you’re still connecting with them as their child, family member or friend, not just helping them out with a list of practical things.
What if You Need Help?
If you’ve decided that you and your family could use help from a professional caregiver, FirstLight Home Care of Greater Charlotte is here for you. Starting any kind of care can feel daunting, but we’re there with you every step of the way. We’ll talk through the needs of everyone involved to put together the best plan for you.
From there, we’ll provide multiple introductions to our staff and caregivers so everyone, and especially your friend or family member, feels comfortable and positive about starting care. Then our compassionate, dedicated caregivers step in with whatever care is needed, whether that’s scheduled assistance a few times a week, care while the rest of the family is away, or more frequent, longer visits.
Contact us today if you have any questions, or to learn more about how home care can help.
