If you’ve been around little kids after 5 p.m., there’s no doubt you’re familiar with “the witching hour”—that period of time before bed when exhaustion is highest, moods are darkest, and patience is least. People suffering from dementia and Alzheimer’s also have a witching hour (experts call it “sundowning”), and it can be one of the toughest times of the day, especially here in New England where we lose sunlight at 4:30 p.m.
Like the witching hour, sundowning can be a result of being overtired and overstimulated, but instead of temper tantrums, it manifests as confusion, irritability, depression, and anxiety. We all have a natural reaction to the end of the day and the loss of sunlight, but when you have dementia, it’s much harder to sort that reaction out.
If you’re caring for an aging loved one, this may be the hardest part of your day, too, but there are things you can do to make it easier.
First, just be there. Sundown is often the loneliest part of a senior’s day. Sometimes, the best thing you can do is be there with them to get through it. Eat dinner with mom, call dad, make sure they’re safe in their anxiety (for example, if your loved one paces at night, make sure the path where they walk is clear). If you can’t be there, find someone who can—just for a few hours to make the evenings easier.
During the day, promote exercise. Exercise helps all of us sleep better, so if you can get your loved one out for a walk during the day—even around the house—they’ll likely wind down better at the end of the day and sleep better all night long.
Encourage naps but only short ones. It may seem counterintuitive but the more exhausted you are, the harder it can be to wind down. Short naps during the day will give seniors the extra energy they need to get through to bedtime, but too many naps will have the opposite effect.
Create a cheerful, soothing atmosphere with good lighting and quiet music. Instead of dimming the lights at night, light up the rooms where your loved one spends her time. Music can be a great distraction for people with dementia—at night or anytime they’re agitated. If playing gentle music doesn’t help, try singing it. Sometimes, just singing the first few lines of a favorite song can calm an anxious mind.
Having a purpose at night can also help lessen your loved one’s anxiety. If folding laundry calms mom down, give her a basket of socks and towels to fold. Maybe Dad likes looking at old pictures or doing a puzzle. Anything you can do to help him refocus his thoughts and get out of his own head at night will make the night-time easier for him—and for you.
If none of these solutions help, talk to your loved one’s doctor to determine if there are other treatments that might work or other conditions that could be affecting her at sundown.
Above all, be patient and kind. On my toughest days as a caregiver, I always think of my mother’s advice to me for parenting, which applies to children, seniors, and everyone in between: “The times they are the toughest to love are usually the times they need it the most”—especially between the hours of 5 and 8 p.m.
Originally published in The Swampscott Reporter
Molly Rowe owns FirstLight Home Care with her husband, Steve, and lives in Swampscott with their two sons. FirstLight provides non-medical in-home care to adults in Swampscott, Marblehead, Lynn, Salem, Peabody, Danvers, Beverly, and Lynnfield. For more information and help caring for your loved ones in the comfort of their own homes, please visit FirstLight’s website at www.salem.firstlighthomecare.com or contact Molly at 781-691-5755/[email protected]
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