Caring
for Aging Parents

Getting Seniors to Eat: Old Food Habits Die Hard

[caption id="attachment_607" align="alignnone" width="300"] I've been eating the same breakfast for 10 years.[/caption] I’ve eaten the same thing for breakfast (oatmeal) every day for almost 10 years. Before that, it was Grape-nuts, which I ate for 15 years. I also eat the same lunch almost every day, and I’d probably eat the same dinner if my family shared my love for routines. But I love to eat, and I relish dining out and trying new things. It’s just at the heart of me, I’m kind of a weird eater. Unfortunately, mealtime idiosyncrasies are often enhanced as we age. Someone who...

Learn More about Getting Seniors to Eat: Old Food Habits Die Hard

Hospital Stays Have Lasting Impact on Seniors

This can be a tough time of year for seniors. Flu and cold season leads to illness, ice and cold hamper exercise, and shorter days have a negative effect on dementia and Alzheimer’s. For whatever reason, this is the time of year when hospitalizations increase exponentially. Often times, my relationship with a family begins with a hospitalization. A loved one falls or gets sick, goes to the hospital, and requires assistance around the house when they return home. Before we begin work with any client, we have a “family meeting” to get a sense for a person’s routine and abilities—when...

Learn More about Hospital Stays Have Lasting Impact on Seniors

We May Need to Lower Holiday Expectations for Aging Loved Ones

Even though I work in senior care every day and advise people on the care of their aging loved ones, I’m the first to admit I don’t always make the right decisions or act the right way with my own family members. I can calmly and patiently deal with just about anything from a client, but when it’s my own family—when it’s personal—it’s a lot harder to see clearly. Like everyone, my patience and compassion sometimes gets clouded by my expectations for how things should be, my memories of how they used to be, and my wishes for what they...

Learn More about We May Need to Lower Holiday Expectations for Aging Loved Ones

Our Undeniable Need For Touch

[caption id="attachment_570" align="alignnone" width="300"] Much has been written about the effect of touch on newborn babies. We sometimes forget it can work wonders on adults, too.[/caption] A friend recently told me about a conversation she had with a man at a local bar. He was telling her the story of caregiving for his wife. After describing almost a decade of medical appointments, health disappointments, and moments of family strife, he said to my friend, “Do you know the hardest part of all those years? Not being touched.” Touch and human contact isn’t something most of us talk about openly. Many of us grew...

Learn More about Our Undeniable Need For Touch

Holidays Can Reveal a Lot About Aging Loved Ones

After my husband’s dad moved from Swampscott to Florida, we only saw him four times a year. I like to think we traded quick weekly breakfasts at Red’s Diner for long, quality weeks together by the pool. He got to know his Florida-based grandson like he never would have, and because we stayed with him, he got to wake up with our kids (who were both under the age of 4) and spend hours watching them splash in the pool and dismantle his house—hours and overnights he wouldn’t have had if he’d stayed here and we were in different houses....

Learn More about Holidays Can Reveal a Lot About Aging Loved Ones

When Does a ‘Collection’ Become Clutter?

[caption id="attachment_543" align="alignnone" width="300"] My husband collects memories, sometimes in the form of ticket stubs.[/caption] One of the biggest concerns we hear from family members worried about their aging loved ones is they are collecting too much stuff. “She won’t throw anything out.” “She saves things.” “She’s a hoarder.” When it comes to aging, collections can cause a lot of trouble. Sure, there’s the occasional person with a priceless collection of rare stamps, but most of us collect useless items. My husband, for example, collects memories—ticket stubs from concerts, mini-golf scorecards, road race numbers. He has an entire drawer of...

Learn More about When Does a ‘Collection’ Become Clutter?

You’re Not as Good a Listener as You Think

[caption id="attachment_530" align="alignnone" width="279"] Whether your 3 or 83, listening can be hard.[/caption] As I write this, I know most people won’t read it. The same person who wants practical tips on organizing medications, avoiding falls, and taking care of a loved one with Alzheimer’s will likely skip over the most practical tip of all: Be a good listener. Why? Because we all think we’re pretty good listeners. We know to sit patiently, try not to interrupt too much, nod at the appropriate times. The funny thing is most of us (and I include myself in this) aren’t great listeners even...

Learn More about You’re Not as Good a Listener as You Think

What to do when you’re not the caregiver

Most of what I usually write is for people taking care of aging loved ones. But what if you’re not the main person taking care of a loved one? Sometimes, not being the caregiver is just as hard. It’s a common scenario. Mom has dementia, Dad has his own health issues, Dad insists on taking care of Mom, and he won’t accept outside help. Maybe he’s handling everything himself and it’s a disaster or maybe he’s handling everything and it’s working out, but either way, you know it’s a ticking time bomb. Eventually he’ll burn out or get hurt or...

Learn More about What to do when you’re not the caregiver

The Power of Music

When I was little, I’d lock myself in my room with a million Barbies and listen to this one record of kids songs over and over and over again. When I was pregnant with my first son, I was determined to find that record and I did (on CD), which my kids now play on “Repeat.” It doesn’t matter that it’s about 40 years later and I’m a mom of two, living in a different state. When I hear that CD, I’m immediately back in my old bedroom, smelling my mom’s spaghetti, trying to cram Barbie’s foot into a pair...

Learn More about The Power of Music

Reining in Your Medications

After my husband’s father passed away in 2013, we were faced with the daunting task of cleaning out his house. Steve’s sister handled most of the clean-out since she lived in Florida near where his home had been, but we did a preliminary clean during our last visit. One of our tasks was getting rid of the medicines. When I say task, I mean TASK. We’re not talking about three or four pill bottles neatly arranged in a cabinet. There were shelves, drawers, baskets, tables filled with medications. We knew Dad’s medication system had some shortcomings, but I’m not sure...

Learn More about Reining in Your Medications