My Auntie Chee passed away last week, at the age of 96 and 338 days. Knowing Auntie Chee, she’s disappointed she didn’t see 100. I’m not sure I’ve ever known anyone to age as well as she did. She looked exactly the same at 96 as she did at 60–shock...
The Importance of Being Realistic About Aging
A friend of mine has a six-year-old daughter who is a born caregiver. She’s that rare child, who at an early age, is able to sense pain or sadness in others. She notices when friends don’t feel good or when her sister is sad. She’s at my son’s side with...
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Communicating Through Alzheimer’s
Whenever my mom and I talk on the phone in front of my husband, he shakes his head in disbelief. We don’t finish sentences, we cut each other off, we switch topics midstream, and then, without warning, we hang up. It’s not a communication style that would work for most...
Caring for a Loved One: You are not alone
I admit that one of the driving motivations behind starting this column (and one of the reasons we launched our home care business) was guilt—guilt over not always making the right decision or feeling the right way or saying the right things as we dealt with aging and illness in...
Checklist For Keeping You and Your Loved Ones Safe at Home
Talk to just about anyone and they’ll tell you they want to stay in their own homes as they age, which is why it’s surprising how few people take steps to ensure their homes are safe and suitable for aging. Oftentimes, people aren’t willing to make even small changes to...
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How to Be a Good Friend in the Face of Illness
A friend once told me that she no longer visits a family member with Alzheimer’s because “it’s too hard on him not to remember me.” While there may be truth to this statement, I’m guessing it’s harder on her not to be remembered. Death and illness bring on a slew...
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Before my father-in-law passed away two years ago, we had the same debate many families have: Should Dad move in with us? He was struggling to live alone in Florida, feeling homesick for Swampscott, and we were here in a two-family home seemingly built for in-laws. For my husband, it...
If you’ve gone through the process of searching for care for your aging loved one, you know how difficult it is. What are Mom’s needs? Where will Dad be happiest? What can we afford? Making it even more difficult are the intense feelings of sadness, guilt, fear, and even anger...
Talking Money With Your Aging Parents: What You Need to Know
I wrote last week about the importance of talking finances with your aging loved ones, but what information should be shared in that conversation? This list can grow quite long, depending on your individual situation, but the bare-minimum information falls into three categories: Financial records, legal documents, and healthcare plans....
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The Importance of Talking Money with Your Aging Loved Ones
Of the conversations adult children usually avoid having with their parents, the one about finances tops the list. It requires an uncomfortable reversal of roles to suddenly ask your mom or dad how much money they have, what they have for insurance coverage, and who and how much they owe....
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