Uncategorized

Finding the Right Care

If you’ve gone through the process of searching for care for your aging loved one, you know how difficult it is. What are Mom’s needs? Where will Dad be happiest? What can we afford? Making it even more difficult are the intense feelings of sadness, guilt, fear, and even anger that can accompany the search. Because this search is so daunting, we often put it off for as long as we possibly can. We start having that nagging concern that Dad needs help, but then we come up with a million reasons to put it off—he’s not as bad as...

Learn More about Finding the Right Care

Talking Money With Your Aging Parents: What You Need to Know

I wrote last week about the importance of talking finances with your aging loved ones, but what information should be shared in that conversation? This list can grow quite long, depending on your individual situation, but the bare-minimum information falls into three categories: Financial records, legal documents, and healthcare plans. Swampscott-based estate-planning attorney Jessica Wistran (of Glovsky and Glovsky in Beverly) recommends clients document all of their account information—bank accounts, life insurance policies, pensions, annuities, investment accounts, real estate holdings, and any employee benefits or retirement assets—and keep the information in a safe place so their loved ones can continue...

Learn More about Talking Money With Your Aging Parents: What You Need to Know

The Importance of Talking Money with Your Aging Loved Ones

Of the conversations adult children usually avoid having with their parents, the one about finances tops the list. It requires an uncomfortable reversal of roles to suddenly ask your mom or dad how much money they have, what they have for insurance coverage, and who and how much they owe. We were very lucky when my father-in-law passed away because, for the most part, his finances were easy to figure out. He didn’t have a lot of creditors, his house was paid for, and he had put most of his assets in a trust. But we still ended up stuck...

Learn More about The Importance of Talking Money with Your Aging Loved Ones

The Many Forms of Part-Time Care

I’ve written a lot about my father-in-law in the past few months but here’s a re-cap if you missed it: Dad lived in Swampscott until the last five years of his life when he relocated to Florida to be near his only grandchild at the time. Rather than live in one of Florida’s famed retirement communities, he moved into a big house just down the street from my sister-in-law’s family, with a pool and plenty of room for us to visit. We shared many great memories there the first few years, especially after our two kids were born. Then the...

Learn More about The Many Forms of Part-Time Care

Planning to Take the Keys

We learn at an early age that wheels = freedom.When I was six years old, I used to study the Sears and Roebucks’ holiday “wishbook” and fantasize about getting a Power Wheels—one of those battery-powered cars that kids can actually sit in and drive. I envisioned myself cruising to the grocery store, buying eight packs of Grape Bubblicious, and hitting the road to total freedom. On some level, we’re all kids with Power Wheels when it comes to driving. We associate driving with survival (being able to buy groceries and get to the doctor), freedom (being able to pack up...

Learn More about Planning to Take the Keys

Area Senior Centers Offer Much More Than You May Know

A couple of weeks ago, my husband and I went dancing—something we never do. There was a 14-piece big band, a crowded dance floor, and more bow ties and sequins than I’ve seen in my kids’ dress-up bin. It was also a frigidly cold Thursday morning in January. Yes, morning, because that’s when they dance at the Peabody Council on Aging’s senior center. I’m not a senior or even a big dancer, but it was truly one of the best things I’ve ever attended. Before our dancing date, I’d never known this type of fun existed. Turns out these dances...

Learn More about Area Senior Centers Offer Much More Than You May Know

Winter's Toll on Seniors

[caption id="attachment_44" align="alignnone" width="300"] When your streets look like this, it's easy to feel isolated.[/caption] I grew up on an island, five hours up the coast of Maine. It’s not as remote as you might think. There’s a bridge to the mainland, decent dental care, and spotty Internet service. There are also some incredible seasonal restaurants and a world-famous art school, and the colors of nature are more vivid there than just about any place on Earth. Many a “summer person” has visited our island, been seduced by its charm, and ended up buying a home there. Inevitably, especially if...

Learn More about Winter's Toll on Seniors

Helping Your Loved Ones Through the Toughest Times

If you’ve been around little kids after 5 p.m., there’s no doubt you’re familiar with “the witching hour”—that period of time before bed when exhaustion is highest, moods are darkest, and patience is least. People suffering from dementia and Alzheimer’s also have a witching hour (experts call it “sundowning”), and it can be one of the toughest times of the day, especially here in New England where we lose sunlight at 4:30 p.m. Like the witching hour, sundowning can be a result of being overtired and overstimulated, but instead of temper tantrums, it manifests as confusion, irritability, depression, and anxiety....

Learn More about Helping Your Loved Ones Through the Toughest Times

When it Comes to Caregiving, Don't be a Superhero

[caption id="attachment_37" align="alignnone" width="300"] How much work could this little guy possibly be?[/caption] When my first son was born, I started every day of his first week with a lengthy to-do list: Shower, laundry, make dinner, write 4 thank you notes, call a friend, exercise, make sure my husband gets a good night’s sleep. Leading up to Will’s birth, I’d frozen meals, finished my Christmas shopping (he was born in September), and bought six-months’ worth of birthday cards. I was determined to be Supermom. People told me I wouldn’t be able to keep it up, but, I thought, “You surely...

Learn More about When it Comes to Caregiving, Don't be a Superhero

The Family Dynamics of Caring for an Aging Parent

A famous author once wrote, “You can tell a lot about a person by the way he handles these three things: A rainy day, lost luggage, and tangled Christmas tree lights.” I’d add ailing parent to that list. There are few situations as stressful as caring for a loved one, especially if you never thought you’d be the one caring for them. Maybe you thought your dad would take care of your mom but he passed away unexpectedly. Or your sister always said she’d do it, but she’s now busy with three young children. Or, if you’re like most of...

Learn More about The Family Dynamics of Caring for an Aging Parent